sábado, 21 de noviembre de 2015

Las Mejores Críticas de RYM: atomicWedgie reviews Dirty by Sonic Youth (Nov 15, 2006)


Dirty starts off like a runaway grocery cart storming down California Street in San Francisco.  The wheels are wobbling.  The wire cage is rattling.  The contents--empty bottles and cans gathered by a bum earlier in the day, the same bum that accidentally let the cart go while bending over to pick up a semi-flattened Coors can--are slamming around inside the cart and occasionally flying out onto the street.  The cart barely missed the door of a car that opened in front of it.

1.  100%
At first, of course, it seemed like a situation that could be controlled.  The bum--OK, OK, the homeless man--turned around as soon as he sensed his cart full of treasures was beginning to creak down the hill.  He reached out for it but stumbled and missed the grip.  Unfortunately, the stumble brought him to his knees.  The cry for help went unheeded.  The tourists looking down the hill toward Union Square turned to see what was happening but were either stunned or simply indifferent.  One man in a suit tried to grab the cart but pulled back when he caught a glimpse of an approaching car out of the corner of his eye.

2.  Swimsuit Issue
The cart quickly gathered speed.  It took only a couple of seconds for people to realize that it was too late for them to react and alter the outcome of the situation.  Within a couple of seconds it was too late.  It was already moving too fast for anybody to catch up with it.  At some point it became loud.  Very loud.
Faster.
Faster.
Faster.
Wobbly wheels.  Acceleration.  Speed. 

3.  Theresa's Sound World
Airborne!
Grant Avenue.  Time stands still.  The bottles and cans--most remaining within the cart--hang suspended in midair.  The sun shines through the green glass of Mendocino red bottles to create green shadows on the asphalt below.  Frozen.  The intersection flattens space and time.  The cart is airborne.  It has to end here.  It must.   The towering inferno is all that's left, then the heart of finance.
Wobble.
Tilt.
Turn.
It must be over.

4.  Drunken Butterfly
Somehow, the cart rights itself.  Now, like a bullet from a gun, its shooting straight down the hill.  It passes a cable car loaded full of tourists wearing t-shirts and shorts despite the sixty degree weather and stiff wind (hey, it's sunny California, right?).
Faster.
Faster.
Faster.

5.  Shoot
To the left is a great steak restaurant within a fancy hotel.  Forty dollar steaks.  Mmm, good.  Ahead, the remains of the Pacific Stock Exchange.  It's all so clear, then suddenly blurred.
Explosion!
Cans and bottles everywhere.
Passenger door--black--crushed.
Air bags.
Like the oranges spilled by Don Corleone, the recyclables litter the street around the car.

6.  Wish Fulfillment
The homeless man suddenly finds himself fighting for air.  The car, my God.  The car.  They never saw it coming.
The kid.
No,
no,
no!
The kid!

7.  Sugar Kane / Orange Rolls
The overcoat flaps uselessly behind him as the homeless man barrels down the hill.
"My God!  My God!"
People watch him pass by.  What has he done, this bum?  What would cause a panic in a man that obviously cares so little for himself?
What indeed?  Look at how he dresses himself.  He's covered in grease and dirt.  When was the last time he had a bath or shower?
Christ almighty.
"My God!"
Imagine a child lying in the street, the eyes lifeless and blank.
Not again.
Not again.

8.  Youth Against Fascism
The passenger's seat was empty in the car the shopping cart struck.  Empty.  No person was hurt.  The car, sure, it's a hell of a dent.  Fuck.  Glass and empty beer cans litter the street surrounding the car.  Nobody was hurt, thank God.  Nobody was hurt.

9.  Nic Fit
"Is that your god-damned shopping cart?!?!"
"Uh . .."
"Fucking dick, is that your God damned shopping cart?!?!?"
". . . "
"You fucking bum!  Look at my car door!  Look at it!  It's fucking dented!  DENTED!  You sonofabitch!  This is a BMW 325i you lazy bum!  Do you know how much this is going to cost?"
"I used to own a 700 series--"
"Shut up you lazy bum!  I'm going to kick your fuckin'--"


10.  On the Strip / Chapel Hill
By the time the driver becomes really heated, a crowd has gathered around the car and the men.
Oh, shit.
The passenger's seat was empty. 
No harm.
No harm.
Dents, yes, but nobody was hurt.
No harm.


11. JC / Purr
Breathe.
Breathe.
.
.
.
As the crowd gathers around the driver--he suddenly finds himself sitting on the curb--the homeless man slips away.
Nobody sees him.
Look at all the broken glass.
The beer cans.
The dent.
My God, the dent.

12.  Creme Brulee
The Embarcadero.  A giant bow and arrow.
Bay Bridge.
Waves.
Everything is OK.
Homeless, yes, but nobody was hurt.
Not today.
. . . not today . . .

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