Las Mejores Críticas de RYM: ozzystylez reviews ( ) by Sigur Rós (Jul 30, 2007)

Scene: interior of Sigur Ros' management offices on a cold day in Iceland.  All exchanges will be in English to make it easier for the reader. 

Manager: Alright lads!!  How's it going?  How's the new album?  Come in, come in, give us the lowdown.  You got a name for it yet? 

Jonsi: No, we're err, we're not going to have a title for this one. 

Manager: Right, right.  Might be difficult, but I like it, yeah, good marketing point.  Okay, but what about the songs, have they got...... 

Jonsi shakes his head slowly 

No, of course not, why have song titles if you haven't even called your album anything?  Okay, I can probably get round that too.  What I need is an idea, some themes, what are you singing about? 

Jonsi: Well, I'm not actually singing any words, just making noises with my mouth that sound a bit like words. 

Manager: O............K. 

Jonsi: Well, technically, it's our own made up language, but it doesn't mean anything.  Essentially I'm just going la la la la, blurblurble, lala.   

Manager: Again, interesting, but I'm really going to be struggling selling this one to the public.  You crazy kids.  I mean, how are you going to sell this? 

Jonsi: Well, look here, look.  Peer into the mystical sea shell and your questions will be answered. 

Inside the sea shell there is a vision of Heaven, it is the day after Judgement Day, the results are in and God is handing out the prizes. 

God: SO, THAT WAS THE CORRECT WAY TO LIVE YOUR LIFE.  NOW, NEXT UP WE HAVE THE BEST ALBUM BY A NON ETHEREAL BEING.  THE CONTENDERS ARE: 

RADIOHEAD, PINK FLOYD, THE BEATLES AND SIGUR ROS. 

SO, LET'S OPEN UP THE ENVELOPE. 

AH, MY FAVOURITE TOO, THE WINNER IS................SIGUR ROS WITH THEIR ALBUM WHICH IS UNUTTERABLE BECAUSE IT IS IN FACT THE WORD OF GOD, AND DOWN THERE ON EARTH, YOUR TINY LITTLE EAR DRUMS WOULD HAVE BLOWN APART IF YOU HEARD ME SPEAK. 

RYM Member with little respect for the supreme being:  But why that one sir, why not Revolver?  We all know that that is commonly regarded as being the best. 

God: WELL, WHY DON'T WE ASK MATTHEW OSBORNE, HE CAN PROBABLY EXPLAIN IT BETTER THAN I CAN. 

Matthew Osborne: Thanks God, the reason it is the best is because it can move you like when you realise that one day you're going to die, but at the same time it reminds you of all the goodness and light in the world. 

God: THANKS MATTHEW, VERY SUCCINCT AS USUAL.  NOW, IF WE CAN MOVE ON TO THE NEXT CATEGORY OF BEST ASS.................. 

Jonsi closes the sea shell and gives the manager a knowing look 

Manager: Okay, I'm sold, that sounds pretty good, and a recommendation from Matthew Osborne gets my approval every time.  One thing though lads, why didn't you just play me the album, rather than reveal that you have secret powers beyond those of mortal men? 

Jonsi: Well, that wouldn't have made for a very interesting review now, would it?