Las Mejores Críticas de RYM: ozzystylez reviews Close to the Edge by Yes (Aug 11, 2006)

According to Chris Squire, "There was a period in '70's America where, if you put on side one of Close to the Edge, you had twenty minutes of uninterrupted music in which to get the deal done....that song and some pot....it was the way to get laid.  In later years I met so many women who told me that they'd lost their virginity to Close to the Edge."

What poor girls! What an ordeal! Sure, the opening minute is all charming swirls and hisses but what follows is the sort of love making music that only the highly experimental or loftily theatrical would be caught partaking in. I tried to picture myself in a position where I would plot the successful vanquishing of a lady's chastity, making sure to include the first storming barrage of unfathomable time signatures and off kilter key changes.

"Hey babe, smoke some of this sheet, it's gonna make you feel reeyal nice."

"What is it?"

"Don't worry, you'll love it, now, a little mood music I think? Are you familiar with a popular beat combo called Yes? No? Of course not, you're a virgin, how else would you have come across them unless somebody else had tried and succeeded in seducing you?"

"Oooh, it does sound really relaxing, I'm feeling sooooo horny all of a sudden, why don't you touch me here?"

"All in good time babe, let me just get this mask on, I've gotta be quick or I'll miss it when it kicks in. Here, climb into this animal skin, we're seconds away from getting jiggy with it!"

*"Close to the Edge i) The Solid Time Of Change" kicks in*

"Awwwwwwright, now just rub against things, we'll meet in the middle during the reprise of "I Get Up, I Get Down" but til then just wriggle."

"Are you sure this is how we're supposed to do it? Aren't we supposed to connect physically?"

"*sigh*  Listen treacle, this is how all the cool kids are doing it. Right now we have to interpret the music and channel the sexuality through our bodies. Now be ready for 'aaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!' the sudden changes and you'll start to feel incredibly attracted to me I'm sure you'll find."

"I found you attractive to begin with, this is just freaking me out."

"Don't have a cow 'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!' man, watch me for the leads."

*Later, probably twenty minutes later*

[exhales cigarette smoke] "So, how was it for you?"

"It was great!  But I'm glad we turned that bloody record off, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I am actually. I'd heard that it had aphrodisiacal qualities but I was too quick to jump on the bandwagon. Close To The Edge is a good record, but it's not love making music."

"God you're interesting when you talk about music, I could listen to you harp on about the intricacies of a 17/12 time signature, as appears on "Siberian Khatu"......"

"...hey, you're learning....."

"...all day, and you're right in what you say about this Yes record. You should put it into a review one day, you'd be good at that."

"Yeah, I could get paid for it too."

"Hahahahahahaha!  Yeah right!"