Las Mejores Críticas de RYM: Favian_Lobo reviews You Made Me Realise by My Bloody Valentine (Jul 08, 2011)

Bullet for My Valentine surely must be a shit band because every time I attempt to show this band to anyone they confuse the two and cringe with immeasurable horror.

#1

"No you dumb fuck, it's My Bloody Valentine."

"I just don't want to hear it, it's not my type of music."

"I really think you're confusing this band with that shit band Bullet for My Valentine."

"Like I said, I'm just not into that genre. Thanks though."

"BUT IT'S A DIFFERENT FUCKING BAND!"

"Agree to disagree I guess."

"I'm sure you haven't even heard it."

"I've heard it."

"What you heard is a metal band called BULLET for my Valentine! I'm talking about MY Bloody Valentine, completely different story. It's an 80s band, I know you'll like it."

"I just don't like music like that alright!"

"You idiot, you think just because they both have Valentine in the name then it must be the same emo bullshit. It's different, fuck! What don't you understand? It's a good band...you'll fucking like it goddamnit!"

"Alright I'm outta here, you're sounding crazy."

"You're making a big mistake man, big mistake."

#2

"Wow, you jumped as if my headphones had aids or something"

"It's just...I really don't want to hear it."

"You don't even want to give it the benefit of the doubt?"

"I'm good, thanks."

"Listen to me. This isn't what you think it is. This is good. I promise. What would I gain lying to you saying this is something it's not?"

...

"So you're just going to walk away is that it? Not even gonna say anything, huh? Real mature."

#3

"I would rather listen to an acoustic Bret Michaels album on repeat all day, then some pussy metal boy band."

"My Bloody Valentine is an Irish shoegaze band formed in the 1983. They sound like a mix between Jesus and the Mary Chain, Sonic Youth and the Velvet Underground. They are highly experimental and use a lot effects to give their music ambience and rich textures. I think I have been courteous enough with you all day and reasonable enough, for you to at least grant me a minute of your time to listen to what would most definitely become a pleasurable and insightful experience.”

“Fuck off.”

And those are just three examples out of the thousands I have experienced because Bullet for My Valentine tainted the word “Valentine” for eternity and made it synonymous with shit. As for the EP, it’s alright, I like it.

Las Mejores Críticas de RYM: RickofLaval2 reviews Isn't Anything by My Bloody Valentine (Dec 28, 2011)

I went into record store, in early 1989, and there was this beautiful girl. She thought I worked there, so she started to seduce me. She asked, "Hey do you have the new My Bloody Valentine album Isn't Anything?"

I responded, "No...I...I don't know who they are, sorry."

Then she touched me at the hips and said in a soft voice, "Do you work here?"

I started to shake nervously as there were others starting to notice. I said in a flat voice, "No".

She slapped me and screamed, "Pervert!". 

Immediately, I walked over to the M section and found the album as people were yelling, "Call the cops". The girl screamed  like a banshee,  "Pervert, he touched me!!!"

The cops were called. Never again did I visit this store, but I ended up buying the album before being handcuffed. Best Purchase ever.